The Big G

I wouldn’t say I’m a religious kinda gal. To be quite honest religion fascinates me but I don’t quite know what to believe. I don’t reject the existence of God outright but I try to take everything that religious organisations with a pinch of salt.

I am glad that religion is a source of comfort for other people. It’s hard to tackle some of the curve balls life throws as us, and I say we need to find solace wherever we can to get through it.

However, I also think that religion can be a tremendously dangerous thing, especially for those that are the most vulnerable and in need of help. OK, maybe not religion per se, but the bastardized forms of religion promoted by it’s practitioners.

Religion shouldn’t be followed out of fear. Fear of the unknown after death I guess can drive people towards God. I’ve never understood this term God-fearing. Surely, if God is on my side why should I fear him/her/it?

So for now till I figure out what I believe. Let me try and live by my own standards. Standards that I can justify. Sure, I’ll make some mistakes along the way, and people are bound to get hurt (but lets try to keep that to a minimum).

At the end of the day, to me it doesn’t matter what the whole world and his Dog have to say. It’s me who has to live with my decisions. Religion can play a role in guiding us. But so often it becomes about judgment. Judgement by a religious congregation in the name of God.

We are often our own harshest critics. We really don’t need a bunch of religious bigots (who I guarantee have their fair share of ghosts in the closet) looking down their noses at us and using religious quotes to justify their judgement of others.

Maybe one day, I’ll figure out if God exists or not. Perhaps I’ll get my lightbulb moment.

Till then…

 

 

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Fixing A Broken Heart

A year ago my first love broke my heart. A year on I wouldn’t say I am yet completely healed. Some days are better than others and some days are worse. But I am learning that the process of fixing a broken heart takes time and requires a lot of understanding. Its a unpredictable process.

There will be days when you think things are looking bright and then BOOM there is another blow! I am still figuring things out but I think the key is taking each day as it comes and doing whatever you need to without feeling guilty about it. Eat the chocolate. Get drunk. Wallow in self pity. Each of us has our own way of dealing with things.

I believe even those of us who’ve had our hearts broken do have the capacity to love again. But we’ve got to be open to the possibility of fully loving someone again. I think if one is halfhearted about it all, you’ll attract just that – a semi-satisfactory relationship. That’s what I am learning. Sure, I’ve gone through the motions of setting up dates, sitting through the boring ones and maybe even having some fun on the better ones but I haven’t yet attracted the right person. I’ve certainly met people that are attractive, clever and fun but none of them are quite the right fit. And although this may sound cliched, you know what? It’s me NOT them.

The process of fixing a broken heart starts with some introspection. Focusing on oneself and finding ways in which you can control your own happiness rather than looking for it elsewhere. Everyone has to follow their own path and take solace in different things that make it easier to get through the day. Healing is never a linear process either. Just as you think things are getting better feelings/triggers will resurface and smack you in the face as a reminder that you are not quite there yet. I think the trick is to be patient with yourself. Remember you are human and there is no textbook way of handling emotions – we are all different.

Just keep swimming as best you can. Don’t wait for someone/thing else to come along and fix you, you might be waiting an eternity. It’s best to start laying the foundations for your recovery and then if/when Prince Charming comes along you’ll be in a better position to welcome him into your world.

Thoughts please. What are your tips for fixing a broken heart? 

 

 

Turning 30

At first I thought it was better to celebrate bidding farewell to my 20s rather than welcoming in the big 3-0. But when one actually thinks about it, and I am guessing there are lots of people out there who’d agree our 20s actually turn out to be quite a roller coaster.

Looking back I achieved a lot graduated twice, worked my way through a lot of jobs,  I traveled A LOT (I filled up my passport with stamps) and eventually moved my life from one side of the world to the other. I fell in love for the first time in my 20s (and had my heart broken for the first time too). Then figured that the time is a great healer and life really does go on. I made lots of new friends. I learnt that not everyone is meant to be in your life forever but that doesn’t mean that the encounter was worthless. Everyone teaches us something. But there are some constants that will remain in your world no matter what the decade. They are called family (not necessarily always the biological sort). I partied hard but also realised the importance of a healthy lifestyle. It’s all about balance.

I have no idea what my 30s have in store but I am hoping that it’ll be a decade of consolidation where I become more sure of myself and what I want out of this crazy thing called life. And I am certainly not at all ready to give up on the adventures.

Travelling Solo

In December I spontaneously decided to get away from the monotony of my day to day life and go on a little adventure. It was all very disorganized. I booked flights about a week before and had no real plans as such. I did no research. I decided to surrender control to the universe and go wherever the wind took me (well, not quite, I knew I had to be back in ten days for work).

It had been an awfully long time since I’d done a solo trip. I forgot how liberating it is. Travelling with friends, family or a significant other is wonderful in that you get to share all your experiences and create memories. But the joy in travelling alone comes from the independence you gain having to stand on your own two feet, the freedom of being totally in control of what happens and the anonymity of nobody knowing your name.

Solo travelling is a character building experiencing. It not only provides opportunities to interact with all sorts of new people but it forces you to be in your own head space and deal with the loneliness (something I avoid doing in my daily life). The alone time gives you this unique chance to process your thoughts properly and evaluate things.

Even after just a 10 day break away from home I came back with a new outlook on life. Things just seemed to be a little bit more positive than when I left. Not that anything had actually changed in real life – only my perspective.

Clearly, I’ve been bitten by the travel bug and hopefully 2016 will see a little more adventure. Luckily, one doesn’t always have to go very far. I have no idea where the wind’ll take me this year…but I can’t wait to find out. I hope you’ll join me for the ride.

 

What’s this all about?

I read something once, probably on the intellectually challenging source that is Facebook, that said : ‘ Life is what happens between coffee and wine‘. But I am a fabulous type of girl who likes to focus on the more sparkly things in life so I jazzed this up a little … because bascially I’d like to think of my life as that thing that happens between coffee and CHAMPAGNE.

So here is goes. I’m establishing this little blog to document my thoughts as I venture to the great unknown aka life in my thirties. I’m a little apprehensive about it all, but then again, who isn’t? Let’s look at it as a new beginning of sorts. There’ll be no method to my madness (I don’t have a schedule for posting, so we’ll just have to play this thing by ear for now) just the musings of a somewhat confused chick trying to figure out what this place is all about without becoming overly jaded in the process.

I’ll keep it short and sweet for now because I still have a few weeks left in my 20s and I plan on making the most of my youth.

Love and Champagne to y’all.

From Me 🙂